So officially we are a "waiting family"!!! Yay!!! What does this mean??? It means, we have been approved by our adoption agency, and at any time in the coming days, weeks, or year we could get a phone call that our baby is ready to come home!!!
We have chosen to pursue Domestic Infant Adoption... this type of adoption is usually done as an "open" or "semi-open" adoption! We get to choose which level of openness and communication we want with our birth mother. As part of the prep process we made an album, of sorts, showing our life together. With lots of pictures of our lives including friends and family. This book is called a profile book and it will be shown to prospective birth mother's who meet our preferences and we meet their's. Each birth mother is shown about 3 or 4 profiles and they narrow it down to one or two that they want to know more about. This would be when we get "THE CALL"... our agency would call us and tell us that there is a birth mother who wishes to talk to us or meet us and we would nervously rush to central Florida (where the agency is) and we would (God Willing) meet our baby's birth mother. Then, depending on how far along she is in her pregnancy we would wait and keep communication with her and the agency, waiting for our baby to be born!!!
I know many who don't know much about the adoption "culture" will be thinking things about birth mothers that they've seen on TV or in movies. Like, what if she changes her mind or tries to take baby away... well, just like any traditional pregnancy where there are natural reasons you cannot go home with your baby, we will have the same risks. And, just like these risks don't stop women everyday from getting pregnant, they will not stop us from wanting to adopt. And as for the right and wrong things to say to adoptive parents... the bottom line is do not give your opinion... give us support, love, interest, and questions, so you can get the right answers. Now that I know so much about this culture that I knew nothing about 4 months ago, I am very aware of the way people are responding to us. I don't expect people to know the right and wrong things to say, but definitely to use common sense. I found this blog entry by another adoptive parent trying to bring their baby home... it pretty much hits it on the nail of dos and don'ts, if your friend is adopting a baby. I would love for my closest friends and family to read this (it's short)... it would mean the world to us:
Unsolicited Advice: What To Do When Your Friends Adopt An Infant
Like I've said to a few friends and family, please Google, Domestic Infant Adoption. There is so much to learn and understand, that we never even knew existed. We want everyone in our lives to be comfortable with our situation, as comfortable as if we were pregnant... because technically we are! We are "paper pregnant" (as they say in the adoption world)... so maybe we'll be pregnant a little more or a little less than 9 months, but we ARE pregnant!!! We are excited, anxious, happy, nervous- feelings not too dissimilar from the next pregnant couple. So, yes, ask questions, hug us, congratulate us, and support us!!!
An adoption quote I've learned to love and understand!
Imagine Being a First-time Mommy- Alexis
